Can I Get A Witness

"We need a witness to our lives." 

Since I heard my dad caveat (is that a verb?) these words with the disclaimer, "This is a great quote from a terrible movie," I've been convinced the sentiment will be going on my wedding invites. (Side bar: Obviously Dad is tragically misguided in his opinion of the movie - just look at this scene. BACK OFF, DAD.)

But he was right about the quote. I love the idea of someone caring about the small things in your life because they care about you. One of my fellow single friends once told me that the most exciting thing about finding a life partner, to him, would be discovering that things you never thought you would be interested in - hobbies, sports teams, places, anything - suddenly and genuinely interest you because you care about the person to whom those things do matter. 

The movie quote continues: "There's a billion people on the planet... I mean, what does any one life really mean? But in a marriage, you're promising to care about everything. The good things, the bad things, the terrible things, the mundane things... all of it, all of the time, every day. You're saying, 'Your life will not go unnoticed because I will notice it. Your life will not go unwitnessed, because I will be your witness.'"

[Cue my curling on the floor and dying.]

That is almost as romantic as red-rose-in-hand tux-wearing Richard Gere ascending an escalator to a Peter Gabriel song. Almost.

But this isn't a post about romance.

As is often the case in my life, I only recently came to realize that I selfishly loved this quote because of how it could be applied to ME. "YEAH. I want people to witness ME, to care about ME, to ask questions about ME." Yet my recent epiphany has revealed that the power of this quote lies in its application to the people around me:

"We need a witness to our lives." Witness others' lives.

How did I arrive at this conclusion? Though I'd like to claim genius, I think it is more in keeping with the spirit of this post if I give a shout-out to just a few of the moments that have brought me here - here to this place where I am no longer asking "Can I get a witness?" but instead offering freely (or trying to - I'm still working on it), "I will be your witness."

1) Christopher Robin. (I know. Some of these are going to feel like a stretch. But this is how my mind works. SO BUCKLE UP OR DE-PLANE WHILE YOU STILL CAN.)

The film centers around a grown-up Christopher Robin reuniting with his childhood friends and remembering all of the dreams and goodness he once held in his heart but has since forgotten as an adult. Now, I saw this film in the midst of people in my life going through some difficult things. And as I sat reclining in my theater chair, I saw in the Christopher Robin character these people who were suffering in adulthood, who had once been children full of dreams and innocence themselves. And that really stuck with me.

2) Kenny Loggins. The only acceptable response to seeing the Christopher Robin movie is to listen to Kenny Loggins' Return to Pooh Corner for at least a week after the fact. And of course Return to Pooh Corner naturally begets listening to the entire KL lull-a-bye album, which includes Cody's Song, written for Loggins's son.

The entirety of Cody's Song is sob-inducing, but I especially love the part where Loggins tells Cody, "No matter how you'll change, I'll know you."

3) A church function at which I was hungry and tired. Last week I sat on a plane tarmac for two hours after landing in DC and so had to go straight from airport to fireside, and you can bet my attitude of "this isn't worth the dinner and sleep I should be getting right now" accompanied me to the chapel. But it turned out to be a meaningful night when the speaker submitted that, regardless of one's current "level" of faith, a prayer that will always be answered is "Who can I help? How can I help her?"

I loved it. It was an invitation to, in the words of President Hinckley's father, "Forget yourself and go to work."

4) An article about why more boys don't read Little Women (it's a flawed article but you can Google it if you really want to).

At one point the piece quotes a famous female author who is not having it: "No one expects [boys and men] to have to empathize with girls and women. As far as [boys and men] be concerned, [girls and women] have no interior life." FIRE.

5) A Netflix movie which I really REALLY need to shut up about already. I watched it this weekend (maybe more than once?), and it has been trending on Twitter because people are loving it so intensely. The hot take of the weekend then came from my friend this morning when she noted the film's popularity can be explained by the way the film "sets a standard for people in relationships actually caring what the other person is thinking." Also fire.

THEN 6) (almost done, promise) no kidding I opened my Brain Pickings email for today and the first line said, "We can count on so few people to go that hard way with us." I MEAN ARE YOU PICKING UP ON THE SAME VIBE I AM HERE?

and finally 7) Today in church we were counseled to, motivated purely by love, "seek to be memorable in the lives of those around us" and to thank others by "remembering them, always remembering them."

So you can see (or maybe you can't as this could be the most convoluted stream of consciousness of all time) how I arrived at feeling like lately I am being prompted to "witness others' lives" :

1) Everybody has hopes and dreams that are tossed and blown, cruelly, by the harsh realities of the world. Witness them.

2) No matter what decisions a person makes, no matter how they change with time, we can know them because we choose to love them, unconditionally. Witness them.

3) Focusing solely on our own happiness can get in the way of bringing much needed joy to others. Witness them.

4) Everyone has interior struggles hidden from plain view. Witness them.

5) Be genuine in your love for others. Witness them.

6) The most overlooked attribute of a person with whom you are in any type of real relationship, romantic or otherwise, is someone who suffers well, alongside you. Lift the burdens of those who suffer. Witness them.

7) Charity, the pure love of Christ, is remembering others. Witness them.

I find that while I am truly most energized by the prospect of serving others when I myself am struggling, I'm not always great with the follow-through. That's why I'm grateful for endless reminders of both the spiritual and secular nature - yes, I am finally willing to admit Kenny Loggins isn't a god the first step is acceptance etc. etc. - to get me back on track. Over the past few weeks I have been inundated with these reminders, and today I finally recognized that could be a sign #amirite. CAN I GET A WITNESS?!